Have you ever felt that pressure cooker effect when organizing events in your business? You know, that one that brings up emotions and doubts and big feelings. Well, today we're going to dive into the importance of tackling those challenges head on so that we can realize all of those big event dreams that we've got. Lately, I have been working with a new coach and a therapist.
at the same time and it is putting some pressure on me. I've been walking around telling people, I think my head is exploding and steam is coming out the top. So back in, what is it, January, I started working with therapists, so almost a year now. And that is amazing. I mean, not easy, but really smart. So I've been...
I was watching for a while people at next levels that I would like to achieve and hearing that it kind of sounds like they have therapists and that they had to work through stuff and I'm like, okay, I don't know what that is or means. But if that's how I get to the next level, then sign me up. So
started working with a therapist and oh my goodness, there's been a lot of tears, there's been a lot of a-has, but wait, let me back up. The interesting thing is I started working with a therapist a couple years ago, three years ago, yeah, and it didn't go well, probably only a couple few sessions. And I just, I didn't feel like opening up and I didn't feel.
connection and I just said that I was going to, I said, thank you. And I'm moving on. I'm going to go work with a different therapist, but then I never found another therapist. Turns out, I didn't know this at the time, that not all therapists are created equal and that there are some that just talk the way that our ears hear and
Sarah Fejfar (03:31.054)
teach the way that we learn. And while I've always felt that in the coaching space, I didn't realize that was a thing in therapy too. And so I'm really grateful that when I decided I was going to give it a try again, earlier this year that I found somebody that was a right fit. And so I
gosh, I just keep uncovering things like, oh, I didn't know that I do that. Like, let's, let's use perfectionism example. For example, yes, I've always kind of known that I was perfectionist, but I didn't realize how it was impacting decisions I was making or not making. Things I was saying or not saying in so many different situations. Like I've always known I have preferences, but
didn't know how it was impacting business decisions or what have you. It just I think therapy has allowed me to have more awareness. Yeah I'll say that more awareness and that awareness has helped me start to connect dots like oh maybe because I'm
doing this or saying this, that's why that person's reacting this way or saying that kind of thing. And in all facets, like, it's so hard to describe in life and business. So that so I've been glad that I've been doing that because it really has helped guide me not only in awareness, like, and in a lot of going backwards and thinking like, Okay, where did that start? And why?
sometimes I can't figure it out yet. But then also, I think it's been helpful to guide me to next books that I need to read.
Sarah Fejfar (05:39.03)
that's been really helpful so that I could kind of go deeper and understand it a little bit more.
And so that's the therapy piece and I've been going every week and I'm so glad. Definitely not done. And then I would say a month and a half ago, I started working with a new coach, business coach and wow, the pressure cooker of the combination of the two has been very helpful. Like a coach to push me forward.
past things that I'm afraid of past blocks like perfectionism and helping me point out like, okay, well, that line of thinking is you thinking that you have to do it a certain way because of like perfectionism state now, you could go do it this way, and it would be faster and get the result faster. And we can come back later and do these pieces. But now that's not the time to do them. So go do this and then giving me homework.
And it's really been pushing me to uncover even more levels of just stuff I do and don't do that holds me back. And I've been able to, you know, anytime it's brought up tears or the sobbing, I've been able to then process that with the therapist and be like, okay, I think this is what's coming up and let's figure out why.
the coaches all like go, do, do. And so then I doing or attempting to do the thing. But it's hard and emotion comes up. And so then I'm processing with a therapist and I realize I'm being kind of vague here. And I hope it's still helpful. But I bring it up because events
Sarah Fejfar (07:45.178)
it's a very high pressure situation, kind of like what my coach, the situation with my coach right now. There's a lot of time pressure and in terms of like homework tasks that we have to do and content to consume and a certain timeframe to do it in. And I loving all of it because it's so hard, but it's exactly what I need to like do bigger, scarier things. And
It made me think of how similar it is to events because events are a pressure cooker too, because there's the time pressure, there's also the social pressure, and the money pressure, all sorts of pressure. Because of that, it puts us under this emotional stress and
Sarah Fejfar (08:40.874)
The thing is when we're under that level of emotional stress, it can impact our decision making, our ability to be creative, the overall event.
Sarah Fejfar (08:55.042)
For example, like imposter syndrome coming up or fear of failure, that's a huge one for me, fear of failure, can undermine confidence and what you ultimately put out, the product that you put out of your event, the product of your event. I've been in events where a client has not made an offer because of...
imposter syndrome and not feeling like they were good enough in that type of a high pressure situation to make an offer. I've been in events where an offer has been made but because of fear of failure or a little bit of
lack of leadership resulting from imposter syndrome. There were poor sales. And so all of this emotional baggage stuff, I give you those examples because it's stuff that you don't want to bring into an event season. And so the reason why I told you that story about therapy and coaching that I'm doing right now is because
If you have any sort of inkling that you're doing or not doing things right now
that would impact whether or not you access your next level of event dreams, that I think that you could use this as your invitation or your slight nudge to think about do you need therapy and or do you need a coach? And I had someone explain the difference between the two to me and it was really helpful recently.
Sarah Fejfar (11:00.622)
I'll share it with you. It says that therapy is more about reflection. It uncovers what's going on. And some even consider it to be a prerequisite to coaching because someone who's done the work to figure out what baggage they've got and developed a lot of awareness, that type of a person makes such a more
powerful coaching client because they're really well, even better poised to be able to create what they want. And then a coaching, a coach is like someone who helps you do something about it. Think like forward motion. So think kind of backward reflection with therapy and coaching is more forward. And
So yeah, it's just, this is me, someone who really never ever expected to find themselves in the self-help section of the Barnes and Noble, nor in a therapist's office or a therapist's Zoom. That's how I do it on Zoom, which is amazing. So time efficient.
it I just I never expected to feel like I was gonna have to go dig into baggage and stuff and talk about woo things but it's so important it affects everything not just business family life happiness like internal joy so I'm a huge advocate and an encourager now and so
If you think, like, let's say you hosted an event already and maybe you didn't post about it or because you were worried about what size it was or maybe you know that you could bring a room together of a few hundred people just by snapping your fingers because like there's pent up demand but you're not doing it. I think
Sarah Fejfar (13:22.114)
it might be worth considering working with a therapist and or a coach to help you because I think that all of our event dreams are worth realizing because the impact that we can make is so great. You know my feelings on this. I think events are the most powerful way to create transformations in our clients.
and they also happen to be very powerful revenue generators. So I'm an advocate for them happening, but if they're not happening or they're not at the scale yet that you would like, it might be worth uncovering if this like boo-woo side of things needs some attention. The work that only you can do. Unfortunately, this is not a task to outsource to a team member, darn it.
And so that's one thing. Another thing is, of course, self care. And we've talked about this in past episodes, but I'll just kind of
talk about it briefly here too is that because it's a pressure cooker, you're going to need all of those, you're going to need a full toolbox. Things like mindfulness and stress management, it's stuff that you need to have nailed. So workout routines, meditation, healthy eating.
Lately, I have been on the hot and cold bandwagon and I am totally loving it. I can't say enough good things about how it calms me down. It takes the hamster off the wheel in my brain and sets it to the side in a nicely cozy bed. It's amazing. And so I encourage you that you if you don't already have that toolbox.
Sarah Fejfar (15:23.502)
like full, then start working on adding a tool at a time because it's VIP. And ultimately, I think your willingness to be vulnerable here is going to be the key that unlocks your next level. Yes, in your events, but also in so many other ways in life and business too.
I am so appreciative that you hung out with me for this conversation today. I hope it got your wheels turning in a good way. I never, like I said, I never used to embrace the woo-woo stuff, but somewhere along the way, I realized I have to, otherwise I won't get where I want to go on this entrepreneurial journey that I'm on. And I want you to get where you're going too. And this is...
important piece. I look forward to hanging out with you again soon. Take care, make it an outstanding rest of the week.